A typical [wo]man's identity

You know, I am a typical woman...or rather I should say a typical human being. There are days when I look in the mirror and I see all that is going right for me...somehow all of my features kind of come together and I look at myself and I'm able to smile and realize that I have a lot going for me and that I can take on the world. Other days....well lets just say it's less so. You know...those days where nothing really seems right -your eyebrows don't match, your teeth are a little crooked, and your hair stands up where you don't want it to...

As people, we all have those days...whatever the quirks are for you. We all have the times when we can see who we are and why people would like us for who we are...and other days we want to hide in a closet and count the seconds until the day is over.

And I've come to realize that this is one of the saddest things about us. Ever since the garden of Eden we, as humans, have failed to recognize our identity and what that means for us.

When you think about God, you generally think about all of the qualities that He is. In the Bible He is even defined by I AM. This thinking holds across into Philosophy. We generally define God by everything perfect, everything powerful, and everything present -and since we have an inadequate way to describe a God we cannot see we describe Him with powerful language.

But have you ever thought about how we define ourselves? We generally define ourselves by the things we are not. If you need proof then think of when you look in the mirror, how often do you see the things you are rather than look for the things you are not?

I think Adam and Eve had the same problem. I think they were comparing themselves to God and saw all the things they were not, instead of all the things that God created them to be. In the garden, Satan was able to draw their attention away from the positives in their relationship with God and onto the things that were seemingly lacking.

When in truth, nothing was lacking at all.

You see, Adam and Eve were exactly who God had made them to be. God loved them for exactly who they were at that moment. He created each part of them with such passion and devotion that it broke His heart when they couldn't see themselves the way God saw them.

And that's the way it is with us.

So often we get into the mindset of what we are not and who we are not that we forget who we are. We are children of a God who fashioned each one of us with His own hands and His own creativity. There is nothing about you (outside of fleshly nature) that God does not love and cherish with His own perfect heart. He is looking down and beaming at each one of us because He can see us for who we are -we are His.

So I think we need to reconstruct the way we see ourselves:

We need to stop believing the lies that we aren't enough,
we need to stop thinking that God created us in a faulty way,
and mostly, we need to start looking at ourselves for who we are instead of letting the world tell us who we are not.

I'm not saying that I understand where to go from here, but I do know that I want to see myself in light of God instead of in light of the world. So I think we need to stop comparing ourselves with each other and the world's standards and start comparing ourselves with who God designed us to be -recognizing the beauty on the outside and fostering beauty on the inside.

And with that, we need to start celebrating the identity we have as ourselves and within our communities.

Kate

Satan's deceptions and self encouragement

I have been thinking and I want you guys to know that not everything was easy in following God's voice and I don't always get it right all of the time. I have told a few people things that I thought I was hearing from God only to find out that it had been something that I had come up with, and some of the things seem really silly now that I think of it.

But what doesn't seem silly is the things that God wants Robert and I to do in the future...and this is something that I have battled with for a long time because honestly it seems to big for us...and something that I don't think I deserve to be chosen for....so naturally I question that I'm hearing God right and whether or not it's from Him.

However, this has led to an opening for Satan and I want to share with you some of the flawed logic that Satan can use to deceive us...and some of the logic he has tried on me.

The first one I'll share is when I was thinking about going to Mexico on a missions trip. I was doubting whether or not God wanted me to go and the pastor of the church I was visiting was talking about how not everyone is called to Missions....but he ended with this word [paraphrased]..."but if you think that you're being called into Missions follow it. God will stop you if he doesn't want you to go, but if you're only stopping because of doubt - know that doubt isn't from God, but from Satan. Satan wants you to doubt what God has told you, so you won't go. God doesn't need to get you to doubt because He will just tell you no if it's not where He wants you to go."

 I don't know if I'm conveying this well enough, but basically doubt is the uncertainty of the truth...or to be afraid of doing the wrong thing...but God's perfect love drives out fear...and God is the truth. It's only Satan who would be trying to bring about the uncertainty of who God is.

So I'm trying not to doubt so much that this huge dream that God has given Robert and I is really from God...and just embrace it......which is really hard because I barely know the beginning of it yet.

The second flawed logic that I experienced from Satan was the dual lies that he has thrown at me...these are the kinda of lies that don't stand up to each other when you share them outloud...the ones that have a tendency of making you feel silly when you share them....

But my biggest worry is that I'm hearing my voice and not God's....so Satan decided to slip the phrase "schizophrenic with delusions of grandeur" into my mind...which in laymen's terms means that I hear voices & imagine myself as greater than I am.

However,

One of the other things I battle with is not feeling like I'm good enough for this dream...

So you tell me how I'm supposed to have delusions of grandeur when I can't even recognize why God would have called me to this- when I don't feel like I'm good enough?

This is an example of Satan's sneaky deceptions.

And another logical reason why I can be positive that this is from God:

I have been trying to throw this dream away because it has me constantly feeling like I'm not good enough -because there's so much growth that needs to happen before I'm capable of fulfilling it...and because I don't know if I'll ever be good enough to fulfill it...so I try to convince myself that it's from me because then I have the control to throw it away.

But I can't let go of it....for the last 6 months. I think if this was from me I would have easily been able to let go of this and walk away.

But God didn't let Moses walk away and hide out forever after he had killed the Egyptian...he could run and hide, but when it came time for his destiny to be fulfilled -God brought him back to where he needed to be to deliver the Israelites...

...and that's what I'm finding to be the case for this dream. God's not letting me walk away from it, but it His timing, He will use me as a vessel to do things I never imagined I would be capable of -because it will be God's power through me.

And that will be worth everything.

That's all for now friends,
Kate