Devo for the (future) children: Love yourself, Love God

Dearest, most lovable child of mine,

Today I want to talk to you about love. Not the cheesy idealistic, overrated, but completely enchanting to watch, romance in the movies, but real honest to goodness, I’ll be there for you, unconditional love.

If there is anything I want you to have learned from your father and I is how to love. Not just a special someone, but everyone that you meet. This is something that I know Jesus hopes you understand as well. I hope you are beginning to understand in this stage of life (however old you are) that everyone has worth and value in their life. Due to this, we, as Christians, strive to love and bring out that worth and value in the people we meet and have relationships with (friendships, family, significant others, strangers…etc).

The Bible states that the law of the Old Testament can be summarized into two statements (Love your neighbor as yourself and Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength). These two sentences encompass books and books of the Old Testament -39 to be exact, as well as being a major foundation in the teachings of the Jewish and Muslim religions. By this time in life you’ve probably heard it called the golden rule and is also referenced (through different wording) including the Baha’I faith, Buddhism, Hinduism, Sikhism, Taoism, Confucianism, Native Spirituality, etc.

So you’re probably starting to think that this concept must be pretty important right?

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Right.

So what does it mean and how do we go about it?

Well Psalm 139 talks about how we are made in the image of God and how he knit us together in the wombs of our mothers. Joshua ( ) talks about how He has divine plans for us and ( ) talks about how He is preparing the steps for us to take.

This means that everyone who walks on this Earth is here for a reason. Every person who has ever taken a breath was designed by God, and each of those individual’s has a deep, longing desire to be loved, to be noticed, and to be appreciated.  Filling those needs in people is a very simple way to show love. 

This can be done through acts of service (mowing someone’s lawn, listening to their problems, standing up for them at school, or even just sitting by people).

It can be done through words of affirmation (encouragement, telling people compliments about what you like about them, and telling them that they were really good at XYorZ that you saw them do or try to do).

You can also give them gifts, feed them, play with them, help them with their homework, hug them, or write them kind notes. Each of these things falls under God’s commandment to love and value our neighbors and each of these things will help uplift our neighbor’s spirits and help them realize their value in life.

So how does this relate to loving God?

This is one that I struggle with right now (I’m 21 years old and am writing this on June 2^nd, 2014).

See I wish God and I could go out and drink coffee and I could just spend time talking with him about things that are going on in the world and hear Him give little quips of humor and insight.

I wish that God could cuddle me at night or really hug me tight. I often envision Him doing so. I also wish that He and I could dance with me wearing a long flowing dress.

Well this is getting kinda girly, so if you’re a boy this could relate to wanting to play football or video games together. You could envision yourself going on bike-rides or finding frogs with God.

Basically spending quality time together.

However, I’ve found that even imagining myself doing that with God isn’t enough to satisfy my soul. So I read and pray, and mostly spend time reading Biblical fiction, listening to music or drawing my spiritual emotions out to God.

This is something I want you to focus on. The last few ideas are things that I’ve personally found help connect me to God, but I want you to experiment and try to find what makes you feel closer to God…what’s your spiritual personality?

Are you close to God in nature?

When reading about Him?

When singing to Him?

When telling others about Him?

When you do things for others?

When you journal your thoughts?

When you write your own Biblical fiction?

When you pretend you’re a Biblical character?

There aren’t any right or wrong answers to this. As we’ve talked about, God has made each one of us unique and that also relates to how we experience and feel close to God.

If you’re still stuck try to think of what you’d do with your free time and see if you can make it about God.

But never forget, your experiences with God are about being in relationship with Him. Not about what you do or don’t do with Him (so don’t get stuck on rules about reading your Bible this many times a week, or only listening to Christian music, etc –unless it’s how you connect with God and something you feel convicted about.).

He wants to spend time with us and He wants us to do it in a way that makes us happy…He doesn’t want to make us miserable to spend time with Him.

So with the rest of this devotional thought I want you to think back and reflect on the times that you have felt loved by others and a time that you helped love someone else. (Write or remember one story for each).

I also want you to think of your favorite moments with God and try to spend at least one hour this week (or more…as many as you want even….not that it’ll get you out of chores, or school, or homework :P )…doing what you love and devoting that time to God.

And remember, you are loved, you are chosen, you have value, and I am so blessed that you are mine.

With love,

Mom.

10th Hour Devo Talk -9/29/13

Yesterday I did a devo talk that God had been preparing for an entire month. This was presented to me right be fore the school year started and I knew exactly what God wanted me to speak about as soon as I opened it up. Through the next month God continued to tweak it and add onto the message. And this is the gist of what it was:

So when I was asked to do the 10th Hour talk, I was immediately intimidated by the idea of it. What did I have to offer? How could I compare to the people who were going to talk that had 10 more years of God experience than I did or those with PHD's or had gone to seminary? Who was I compared to that?

and in the moment after those thoughts, I heard God say, you are mine. You have my story and what I have done in your life. No one else has experienced me exactly the way that you have -share that.

So here I am.

But those thoughts that God gave me led me to think about the fact that none of us, if we were completely alone with God for our entire lifetime, could ever come close to getting to know God. This is because our personalities only allow God to reveal certain things to us. However, when we dwell in community, we learn about God through what He is doing in the lives of other people around us. In that way, it is through community that we can learn about God fully.

So I think about the Lord's Supper. I think about taking communion with God and what it would have been like to be a disciple who actually walked with Jesus. What it would have been like to see Him do miracles and still not get the full picture of who God was.

I think about Peter. Oh Peter. He's my favorite. I learn so much about God through him because our personalities are completely opposite. He is always so ready to follow after God -even if he doesn't follow through. He's energetic and mostly he isn't afraid to fail.

And I love to watch how God treats him when he does because I often don't do anything unless I'm sure I can succeed in it. I'm generally afraid to step out of my comfort zone and try something new when I'm not sure how others will take it. So watching Peter in the Bible is refreshing to me.

But I think about what Peter was thinking when Jesus died and he felt like everything was over. Where did his faith go during that time? What doubts were going through his mind? (what doubts are going through my mind about what God has told me?)

Then I think about the transformation that happened when Jesus did rise from the grave and sought out Peter. I think about the change that Jesus resurrection had on the disciples lives. Peter, was able, through the Spirit, to do things that he never thought he could do, and he was able to follow Jesus to places he never had the strength to do before.

The spirit transformed Peter and transformed his ministry.

And that's what God did for me.

When I was younger, I was not good at community. I have never let people in and I've had a hard time trusting them. I became depressed when I was a freshman in high school because I didn't trust that the feelings people shared with me were real. I thought people loved me because they had to, because society said they should, rather than real feelings.

It even goes further back than that. I got saved around the time that I was five. I was at AWANA and my Pastor asked anyone who wanted to get saved to come forward. In my little heart I said no, I did not want to do it in front of people. When I got home that night I tried to ask God into my heart and I cried because I didn't feel any different. Then my sister came into the room and saw me crying and asked me what was wrong. I told her "Jesus doesn't want me. I asked Him to come into my heart and He said no." (paraphrased...because...it was a long time ago) and we went through the Roman's road together and I got saved.

         This shows three things: 1. Little kids can really believe it God. Note I didn't say that God didn't exist, but that He didn't want me. 2. Shows how broken I was at a young age (it ran deep). 3. God wanted me to be saved in community -showed His promise to me for the future (one of those hindsight things)

And this is something that I've tried to work on my whole life. But God didn't want to yet. He didn't start transforming my ability to do community until I was a junior in College. Until I already knew what my calling was in life and I knew I was not going to be able to do it without Him. Until I knew that my transformation in community was not going to happen outside of His strength is when He said we'd work on it.

He gave me three prayer drawings from the span of April 2013 to August 2013 that shows the journey that I went on. The first one is God's hands holding water over a little plant. This represents my walk with community. The dry ground represents the dryness of my community and how it was barren and couldn't produce anything. The plant was the sprout of my community, and the water was my tears.

You see, God has been holding my tears about community since the first teardrop fell. He has been collecting them, waiting for the right time in life. My ground was so dry that each tear would have been sucked up by the ground too fast for any growth to happen. So God held them and collected them and slowly let my tears drip to the ground in the correct timing necessary in order to create growth. His "lack of doing anything" was really making sure that I would have long term growth.

The next prayer journal that I am going to show was the one of my insecurities. In the picture, all the brokenness in on the outside, but the strength is on the inside (with my relationship with God). God had me draw lilies and sparrows in the eyes to signify that He was watching over me and was going to take care of me like He takes care of the Lilies and the Sparrows. It was His promise to me.

The last prayer drawing is where I'm at now and what God has done in my life. He has made me into a lily. The little sprout that He was carefully tending has now sprung up into a lily. A flower that resides by water (not dry ground). That's how much He has changed me and taken care of me.

He also had me put the words "He makes beautiful things out of us". This is the truth in itself, but it also relates back to Gungor's song Beautiful Things. In the song the lyrics are:

"All this pain, I wonder if I'll ever find my way.

 I wonder if my life could really change, at all. 

All this earth, could all that is lost ever be found. 

Could a garden come up from this ground at all."

....

"All around, Hope is springing up from this old ground.

Out of chaos life is being found, in You. "

...

"You make beautiful things. 

You make beautiful things out of the dust.

You make beautiful things.

You make beautiful things out of us. "

I feel like this song was written for me and what God is doing in my life. He has healed me and this last school year has been amazing. I am a part of a new social club and I'm mentoring and getting to know a lot of new girls. 

God is doing NEW things. God is making ME new! God has made me NEW!

All the community things that I am able accomplish today and in the future is because of God. I am literally nothing without Him. He is the reason that I thrive today. I am made new because of the resurrection power of God. 

The same Spirit that was in Jesus when He rose from the grave is the same Spirit that is in me. And friends, it's the same spirit that's in YOU. The HEALING that God has done in MY life is available in YOURS. God IS holding your tears and He's creating growth. He's creating you into something new! He's doing it in HIS timing. HIS goodness. HIS glory through YOUR life.

Don't give up. Don't think God isn't doing anything. He's in the process of making all things new -making YOU new. 

Trust Him. Trust the process. Trust Him when you can't see what He's doing. 

Trust the supernatural when you can't see Him working in the natural. 

Trust me, He's doing great things in your life is you surrender to His timing and His process.

Love you,

Kate Nowak

A typical [wo]man's identity

You know, I am a typical woman...or rather I should say a typical human being. There are days when I look in the mirror and I see all that is going right for me...somehow all of my features kind of come together and I look at myself and I'm able to smile and realize that I have a lot going for me and that I can take on the world. Other days....well lets just say it's less so. You know...those days where nothing really seems right -your eyebrows don't match, your teeth are a little crooked, and your hair stands up where you don't want it to...

As people, we all have those days...whatever the quirks are for you. We all have the times when we can see who we are and why people would like us for who we are...and other days we want to hide in a closet and count the seconds until the day is over.

And I've come to realize that this is one of the saddest things about us. Ever since the garden of Eden we, as humans, have failed to recognize our identity and what that means for us.

When you think about God, you generally think about all of the qualities that He is. In the Bible He is even defined by I AM. This thinking holds across into Philosophy. We generally define God by everything perfect, everything powerful, and everything present -and since we have an inadequate way to describe a God we cannot see we describe Him with powerful language.

But have you ever thought about how we define ourselves? We generally define ourselves by the things we are not. If you need proof then think of when you look in the mirror, how often do you see the things you are rather than look for the things you are not?

I think Adam and Eve had the same problem. I think they were comparing themselves to God and saw all the things they were not, instead of all the things that God created them to be. In the garden, Satan was able to draw their attention away from the positives in their relationship with God and onto the things that were seemingly lacking.

When in truth, nothing was lacking at all.

You see, Adam and Eve were exactly who God had made them to be. God loved them for exactly who they were at that moment. He created each part of them with such passion and devotion that it broke His heart when they couldn't see themselves the way God saw them.

And that's the way it is with us.

So often we get into the mindset of what we are not and who we are not that we forget who we are. We are children of a God who fashioned each one of us with His own hands and His own creativity. There is nothing about you (outside of fleshly nature) that God does not love and cherish with His own perfect heart. He is looking down and beaming at each one of us because He can see us for who we are -we are His.

So I think we need to reconstruct the way we see ourselves:

We need to stop believing the lies that we aren't enough,
we need to stop thinking that God created us in a faulty way,
and mostly, we need to start looking at ourselves for who we are instead of letting the world tell us who we are not.

I'm not saying that I understand where to go from here, but I do know that I want to see myself in light of God instead of in light of the world. So I think we need to stop comparing ourselves with each other and the world's standards and start comparing ourselves with who God designed us to be -recognizing the beauty on the outside and fostering beauty on the inside.

And with that, we need to start celebrating the identity we have as ourselves and within our communities.

Kate

Satan's deceptions and self encouragement

I have been thinking and I want you guys to know that not everything was easy in following God's voice and I don't always get it right all of the time. I have told a few people things that I thought I was hearing from God only to find out that it had been something that I had come up with, and some of the things seem really silly now that I think of it.

But what doesn't seem silly is the things that God wants Robert and I to do in the future...and this is something that I have battled with for a long time because honestly it seems to big for us...and something that I don't think I deserve to be chosen for....so naturally I question that I'm hearing God right and whether or not it's from Him.

However, this has led to an opening for Satan and I want to share with you some of the flawed logic that Satan can use to deceive us...and some of the logic he has tried on me.

The first one I'll share is when I was thinking about going to Mexico on a missions trip. I was doubting whether or not God wanted me to go and the pastor of the church I was visiting was talking about how not everyone is called to Missions....but he ended with this word [paraphrased]..."but if you think that you're being called into Missions follow it. God will stop you if he doesn't want you to go, but if you're only stopping because of doubt - know that doubt isn't from God, but from Satan. Satan wants you to doubt what God has told you, so you won't go. God doesn't need to get you to doubt because He will just tell you no if it's not where He wants you to go."

 I don't know if I'm conveying this well enough, but basically doubt is the uncertainty of the truth...or to be afraid of doing the wrong thing...but God's perfect love drives out fear...and God is the truth. It's only Satan who would be trying to bring about the uncertainty of who God is.

So I'm trying not to doubt so much that this huge dream that God has given Robert and I is really from God...and just embrace it......which is really hard because I barely know the beginning of it yet.

The second flawed logic that I experienced from Satan was the dual lies that he has thrown at me...these are the kinda of lies that don't stand up to each other when you share them outloud...the ones that have a tendency of making you feel silly when you share them....

But my biggest worry is that I'm hearing my voice and not God's....so Satan decided to slip the phrase "schizophrenic with delusions of grandeur" into my mind...which in laymen's terms means that I hear voices & imagine myself as greater than I am.

However,

One of the other things I battle with is not feeling like I'm good enough for this dream...

So you tell me how I'm supposed to have delusions of grandeur when I can't even recognize why God would have called me to this- when I don't feel like I'm good enough?

This is an example of Satan's sneaky deceptions.

And another logical reason why I can be positive that this is from God:

I have been trying to throw this dream away because it has me constantly feeling like I'm not good enough -because there's so much growth that needs to happen before I'm capable of fulfilling it...and because I don't know if I'll ever be good enough to fulfill it...so I try to convince myself that it's from me because then I have the control to throw it away.

But I can't let go of it....for the last 6 months. I think if this was from me I would have easily been able to let go of this and walk away.

But God didn't let Moses walk away and hide out forever after he had killed the Egyptian...he could run and hide, but when it came time for his destiny to be fulfilled -God brought him back to where he needed to be to deliver the Israelites...

...and that's what I'm finding to be the case for this dream. God's not letting me walk away from it, but it His timing, He will use me as a vessel to do things I never imagined I would be capable of -because it will be God's power through me.

And that will be worth everything.

That's all for now friends,
Kate

Breaking off the chains of Intimidation 6-6-13

Last night was the night of The Gathering here in Rochester Hills, MI. It's a place where young teens gather at Oakland Christian Church and it's a place where real change happened in my life. To start with I went to a communication group led by Amy Basel and the spirit was using the words that He had given her to speak to three different aspects of my life including my calling, a mentor, and a specific word that he had given to me for Tuesday.

At the end of the message I felt like God was saying that I needed to hug Amy. And I also felt like He was saying to me that I should share my calling in front of people. Both of those things happened later.

It was at the end of the gathering message and worship that I went up and talked to Amy with one of my friends that I grew up with. We greeted with a hug, and I thought that I was just going to encourage her by telling her that her message had an impact in my life in three areas, but I walked away more blessed than I could ever have expected.

Amy asked me about the three areas that God had spoken about and the one was my calling and I told her what God had placed in Robert and my life...in front of Alyssa...confirming the message that God told me to share my calling in front of people...and perhaps one day it will be so in a larger group...who knows?...anyways we continued talking and Amy mentioned something about my lack of belief in my calling -not because I didn't believe that God was capable, but because I didn't believe that God would call me to something so great.

And that hit home because it was the truth.

And we talked a little bit about community and my fear of it...and she spoke another truth...that I was intimidated by people.

And so we prayed about it and we prayed that the chains of intimidation would fall off of me and in that moment I just felt a complete lightness in every aspect of my being. I felt full of the spirit and I felt brand new and as of today I am free of those chains and I see people in a new light.

Before I had put everyone on a kind of pedestal that had to do with my self-image issues and such, but as was spoken over me...it was all in my head.

And in this moment I'm a little afraid that I might revert back to those chains, but I'm choosing to trust God to help me stay in freedom because I have the power to walk without intimidation from man. I have the ability to stand in front of celebrities and people the world considers important and not feel unimportant in comparison because I am a child of God created in His image -with His spirit pouring through me and I have a great calling on my life- and I am free.

So I look forward to my new relationships with people and the social skills that God is going to cultivate in me and bestow upon me.

Because as was spoken over me...Satan attacks most where your greatest ministry lies.

And that, my friends, for me is community.

And so as I'm writing this to you now, I'm thinking back to one of my lasts posts about fearing community and all I can think about is how awesome the power of God is. I, in my own power, could not have gone from fear to conquering is so short of time. That is the power of God! He is able to do miracles in our lives where we feel like we are going to have to trudge on our own. But our lives are not our own battle, because all our obstacles have already been defeated by Jesus who goes before us and we just have to walk in obedience and faith and trust that those obstacles will not stand in our way because they have already been defeated.

Excited to be standing here in the victory of the spirit,
Kate

Moses and the Mount of [in]Security

In life we see people who have done great things and we assume that they are great people. That it was the people that make the deeds. However, this is not the case...I mean sure they are great people, but they themselves are not GREAT.

I found myself thinking when I was listening to a sermon about conquering insecurity and they were talking about how Moses is generally depicted as the 10 commandments guy or the parting of the Red Sea guy. And yes he was there for those things, but those identifiers belong to God.

The point of the sermon started with Moses' insecurities at the beginning of when God called him and how he needed Aaron's help to fulfill God's plans. But I'm not so sure that his insecurities ever went away.

I can picture Moses walking up Mount Sinai battling insecurities and doubts...you know the same ones that plague you when you have a new idea or are doing something new for God. But I think the thing that helped Moses through, or at least I'd like to think so because it's what has helped me through, is remembering the signs of the past. With Moses' insecurities, God never stopped giving him and the Israelites signs that this was God's will and that God was with him. I think when Moses was going up on the mountain he was thinking back to the burning bush, back to passover, back to the Red Sea, and then to his feasts on Manna...I think as Moses was trusting and being obedient to God, he was turning back to the signs and miracles in his times of insecurities.

And it's the same way with us today.

I think when we are feeling insecure about who God made or more specifically in my case -what He has called us to do. I think we need to keep trusting and obeying and reflect on the times that God has carried us through. The times that God has called us to obey and at the end of the day were a success. Those are our miracles that we can build our faith and security on.

So at the end of the day when you're feeling insecure...look down at your foundation because you better believe that when your foundation is the Lord -there's nothing more secure.

Prayer Drawing -Fear of community.

To me, this picture represents how I feel about community. I really don't know how to express the feelings that led to this picture, but the water droplet that is falling is a tear that comes down from my fear of opening up, to being vulnerable, and being an active part of community.

One of my strengths is the ability to help others open up and to be able to encourage them in what's going on in their life. One of my biggest weaknesses -allowing others to do the same for me.

When I think about doing that in my own life I always struggle with thinking about why the individual would care because it seems like a silly thing to tell them what's going on in my life. I always downsize how much it hurts me because I'm used to keeping things bottled inside. It may seem like I'm strong to keep things together, but it's a weakness in an inability to share what is going on inside of me.

However, I've found that as much as I want to keep things bottled up and hold on to them, I've found that what's in my heart still seems to leak out, just a little, but enough to give me hope that it's the right thing. In the times that I encourage others, and open myself up a little to encourage them, I find that I'm watering a little bit of the dry ground in my life.

So the dry ground represents the community in my life. The little sprout of life shows that it's not because the ground isn't fertile, but because I haven't watered it in my own life. I am trying to learn to water it with tears of happiness and tears of sadness. To let people into my life, into my insecurities, so they can lift me when I'm afraid or broken, and rejoice with me when there are blessings or accomplishments.

I'm learning -or hoping, that with the right community of love around me, I can learn how to open up and let other people help cultivate my life.

I hope that maybe my experience might give you the strength to do the same. Perhaps your issue isn't with community and opening up in general, maybe there's some small area that you're afraid to open up to others about, or opening up to God. You're holding on to your pain so tight that you're not allowing life to come out of your experience. Perhaps together we can learn to let go of our pain and just see what happens in our lives.

With the hope of having the strength to be "weak",
Kate